Not Your Average Twenty-Two Year Old

The picture on the left is Sydney. We decided that we were going to sit outside on her patio and watch the sunset. The sunset that day was very beautiful.... hues of pink blending into a rustic orange behind a mountain of billowing pine trees. The entire week before this picture was taken, I had kept waking up at around 5 a.m. I was frustrated with myself because I was extremely exhausted but something would not let myself go back to sleep. After several days of waking up at the crack of dawn, I started to think on the spiritual level. What was the universe trying to tell me? Was something going to happen? The anxiety from this was creeping up on me. It wasn't until the day this picture was taken that I decided to tell myself that I would accept whatever would happen, for the sake of my sanity. I looked out into the sunset, hoping for some type of assurance, some sign, that things were going to get better. This picture was taken on June 25th, 2020. The picture on the right was taken on June 26th, 2020.

I had finally slept that night. I was sleeping over at Sydney’s apartment when I had gotten the call. The call that would change my entire life as I knew it. My phone had been on the "Do not disturb" feature and for my fellow iPhone users, when a person calls twice it disables the feature as if it was an emergency. I was groggy and half asleep when I had realized it was my sister. We hadn't had a conversation on the phone for at least two years. My 17 year old sister called me crying and screaming, saying that there were several strangers in the house throwing stuff out and police officers supervising the eviction. I knew this day would come. My dad had been out of a job for at least a couple months and could not pay rent and the landlord finally decided that he had enough. As I was consoling my sister, I heard my other siblings crying in the background, fighting over things to take with them and screaming about how humiliated that they had felt.

"How could they put us out in a pandemic?"- Hala Hassan, 11 years old

The trip from Nacogdoches to Houston is approximately two hours and thirty minutes. We got there in under an hour. I was sick to my stomach- I hadn't spoken to my family years. We ended on bad terms. Would my siblings feel comfortable staying with me? Were they able to take any belongings with them? I had no idea what to expect. When we arrived in Houston, my siblings had told us that they were sitting in the park because they had been told to leave the home. All of their belongings were in the trunk. Mismatched shoes, scattered belongings, and food were all placed in the car as if they were in a rush. As we were getting food and preparing to leave town, I had been informed that the strangers in the home were brought by the landlord to evict my family. They broke the windows on the second floor to throw out our larger furniture onto the grass. During the eviction, neighbors and people passing by had come to sort through the belongings while my siblings were standing there. You would think people would turn their heads, but instead these people were hauling our personal belongings before our eyes, claiming that they were "free to anyone now."

The Center for Disease Control had issued a ban that all evictions be stopped due to the national pandemic. This is called the Eviction Ban, which you can look at here:

https://guides.sll.texas.gov/covid-19/eviction

Important points on this website are:

*The Order only applies to evictions due to failure to pay rent or late fees

*No Landlord can evict anyone while this ban is occurring

Looking back now, if I would have had the time, support and resources, I would have went back and brought this to a lawyer to discuss my options. I still may be able to, but I have a lot on my plate.

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In my first blog post, I talked about how I am currently working two jobs and going to school full time. I also talked about how letting my siblings stay with me ended up getting me wrongly evicted from my own residence here in my college town. I was devestated. Everything was changing too fast and I was slowly starting to get depressed. I felt like no one could relate to me. I just wanted support. It felt like no one could solve my problems and that I was granted the worst life to live. In Storied Health and Wellness, a key theory that spoke out to me was this:

"The Theory of Optimal Matching reminds us that the type of social support should best match the need and the relationship in order for the social support to be what it is intended to be – supportive  (Mattson & Hall, 2011).   Optimal Matching is a theory developed by Cutrona and Russell (1990) arguing that social support is multidimensional and should be matched with the stressor."

To briefly explain what stressors I had to overcome, I found myself becoming three identities: a worker, a makeshift mother, and a student. In each of these settings, I found myself in an identity that I could not make myself understand that it was me. I was in a crisis and the people I was surrounded by were not making it any easier.

"I am not your average 22 year old."

The Theory of Optimal Matching presented when I got the right type of support. I am a caregiver, nonetheless, but as a caregiver, I was exhausted. I received therapy, psychiatric medications, a case-worker (who helped me navigate taking care of three kids), and put myself into a better workplace. I opened up to my friends and explained how I just needed them to listen. It was important for them to recognize that I am not normal, and that this is not a normal situation. At 22, I have become a mother, head of the household, a student, and a worker in two different workspaces.

Today, after reflecting on all of this, I could have never imagined that I would feel as stable as I do today. Things have changed merely for the better, and I fortunately have a relationship with my siblings again. It had to happen this way. Everything was meant to be. I am a proud caregiver of the three best siblings I could have. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think of this picture with a mountain and a person standing on top of it. These events were one of the biggest mountains I have treaded on: I cried, I ached, I screamed for help... but when I got to the top, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of life and the way it all works.

"The only constant in life is change"